I have three thousand, six-hundred and thirty-two ideas for what to write about, and currently none of them are stirring me from my comfortable bed of lethargy. Some of these are things that relate to me: the boy with the wild hair named Christian who I once thought I would marry; being snowed-in with Laura and falling asleep in our underwear in her parents’ bed; the motel I hid in for three days because I was afraid that if I spent one more night\u00a0 in my own bed that I was going to never stop crying about something stupid which I won’t mention here. Other things don’t relate to me, but to other people: the dead girl that washed up on the rocks a few weeks ago, unnamed, unmourned; the half-finished cup of coffee on a windowsill, lipstick on the rim that doesn’t belong to the woman that lives there; the girl with the tattoo of a fish on her calf who is laying in the middle of the street because she can’t find the strength to go any further, across the street and in anything else.<\/p>\n
My mind is full.<\/p>\n
Nothing, however, wants to come out today.<\/p>\n
And so here I am, stretched out on the sofa, listening to a John Lennon album, not reading, not writing, not doing much of anything.<\/p>\n
The mind is full, and at the same time it is empty.<\/p>\n
Bez has shown no inclination to go back to her apartment, and I haven’t the desire to see her do it, either. We have a need for one another’s company right now that is stronger than our own individual needs for independence, it seems. There has been no more hanky-panky on my part, either, so hopefully we can move forward without any more… distractions.<\/p>\n
That’s the wrong word, “distraction.”<\/p>\n
I don’t know what the right word would be.<\/p>\n
Probably something that I don’t want to consider.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I have three thousand, six-hundred and thirty-two ideas for what to write about, and currently none of them are stirring me from my comfortable bed of lethargy. Some of these are things that relate to me: the boy with the wild hair named Christian who I once thought I would marry; being snowed-in with Laura […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[32,3],"tags":[254,72,73],"class_list":["post-218","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-bez","category-in-my-house","tag-bez","tag-hanky-panky","tag-lethargy"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kamekomurakami.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/218","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kamekomurakami.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kamekomurakami.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kamekomurakami.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kamekomurakami.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=218"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/www.kamekomurakami.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/218\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":224,"href":"https:\/\/www.kamekomurakami.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/218\/revisions\/224"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kamekomurakami.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=218"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kamekomurakami.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=218"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kamekomurakami.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=218"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}