“That is so absolutely not attractive,” I say.<\/p>\n
“Wait, wait,” Bez says. “I’m not finished yet.”<\/p>\n
“Doesn’t it hurt?”<\/p>\n
“Only if they’re too hot,” she says. “You don’t want to get a burn on the inside.”<\/p>\n
My phone rings and I answer it without looking, which is unlike me, given my general dislike of the telephone. “Hello?”<\/p>\n
“Hello.” It’s Nikola. “What are you doing right now?”<\/p>\n
“Watching Bez stick french fries up her nose.”<\/p>\n
“Of course you are.”<\/p>\n
“She’s up to twelve of them. Six in each nostril. I have no idea where she’s putting them all.”<\/p>\n
“She must be very popular with the boys,” he says. “What are you doing tonight?”<\/p>\n
“Maybe taking Bez to the emergency room.”<\/p>\n
“When you are done with that, let me know. I will pick you up and take you for dinner.”<\/p>\n
“As long as we don’t have to eat fries. I don’t think I want to eat fries ever again.”<\/p>\n
“Fifteen!” Bez shouts. “One nostril must be bigger than the other. Who knew?”<\/p>\n
“Tell her she should try sticking them in her ears as well,” Nikola says. “I used to do that when I was a boy. My mother would hit me when she would find me doing it. Such good memories.”<\/p>\n
“Nikola says to put them in your ears,” I say to Bez.<\/p>\n
“Your boyfriend is a genius.” She takes the sixteenth fry, the one she was trying to shove in her nose, and pops it into her mouth.<\/p>\n
“God, did you just eat that?” I ask. “That is the most disgusting thing ever. I’m never kissing you again.”<\/p>\n
“Sure you will,” she says. “My milkshake brings all the girls to the yard. Plus you get fries with that.”<\/p>\n
“Nikola,” I say into the phone.<\/p>\n
“Yes?”<\/p>\n
“If I am dead from grossness before you come over here, I just want you to know: you’re the only Serbian I’ve ever loved.”<\/p>\n
“The gypsies will sing songs to your name,” he says.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
“That is so absolutely not attractive,” I say. “Wait, wait,” Bez says. “I’m not finished yet.” “Doesn’t it hurt?” “Only if they’re too hot,” she says. “You don’t want to get a burn on the inside.” My phone rings and I answer it without looking, which is unlike me, given my general dislike of the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[32,3,90],"tags":[254,172,171,256],"class_list":["post-547","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-bez","category-in-my-house","category-nikola","tag-bez","tag-bez-does-have-one-hell-of-a-milkshake","tag-french-fries-are-sometimes-love-and-sometimes-horror","tag-nikola"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kamekomurakami.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/547","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kamekomurakami.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kamekomurakami.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kamekomurakami.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kamekomurakami.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=547"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.kamekomurakami.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/547\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":783,"href":"https:\/\/www.kamekomurakami.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/547\/revisions\/783"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kamekomurakami.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=547"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kamekomurakami.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=547"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kamekomurakami.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=547"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}